Highly Sensitive Painter

It's one thing to step outside myself, intellectualize and give myself advice, but saying truly is easier than doing. One of the most oft heard pieces of advice is so simple it's irritating: "Don't think about it, just do it."

Well, what if I'm HSP?

HSP, or Highly Sensitive Person, (yeah, it's a real thing) is "a person having the innate trait of high sensory processing sensitivity. HSPs process sensory data much more deeply and thoroughly due to a biological difference in their nervous systems."

A large percentage of HSPs are also creative, and they make up about 20% of the population. The other 80% think we're disfunctional, but we're actually the opposite; we are super-functional. HSP is not a disorder. It's a gift.

It has to do with how our brains gate all the stimuli going on around us. Since we take in so much more, we have to do a lot more thinking to process it. I know my brain never goes on vacation. That's why telling myself something like "Don't think about it, just do it" is absurd at best. So. Rather than try to turn my thinking off, I have to turn the dial and change HOW I think.

I have to turn all the negative thoughts down to the lowest audible volume and turn the positive ones on full blast. Instead of thinking "No I can't" I will think "Yes I can." And I will think it constantly. I will bombard myself with: "Oh boy! I'm going to draw! I will be so happy!" whether I believe it or not. Because you know what they say: If you repeat a lie often enough people will swallow it.

I will think it in the back of my head, think it in the front of my head, think it right out loud. I will post signs around the house, make moodboards and scrapbooks. I will write, I will blog, I will collect things that inspire and move - like great words and pictures and music. I will pretend I'm 8 years old again, practicing the piano 30 minutes a day.

I will think it with every biological cell in my biological body every biological second of the day: "I WANT to draw!"

"Yes, you great dithering idiot, pick up the goddamn pencil and start drawing!"

I am so sensitive.


HSP LINKS

• Susan Biali, MD: "Every person who has a talent that they long to play with and develop, but thinks it's silly or a waste of time or too late, needs to understand how important this gift is and understand its worth in their very cells."
• Dr. Elaine Aron: Are You Highly Sensitive? The Self Test
• Are You a Highly Sensitive Person?
• Top 10 Survival Tips for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
• Why It's Hard to Be a Highly Sensitive (HSP) Introvert
• Wikipedia: Sensory processing sensitivity
• Elaine Aron: The Highly Sensitive Person
• The Creating Brain: The Neuroscience of Genius